Good day,
My wife and I are expecting our first child next month, and I know Greg has been toying with the idea himself.
This is not our first birth, however, and I suppose I’ll tell my story here. We were pregnant last year just before covaids hit and not knowing that alternatives existed at all, we began seeing our “normal” in network OBGYN health care provider. Every visit, we’d have a different person performing the checkup, sitting in front of their computer with their back to us in the cold, sterile, institutionally approved white walls and harsh lighting with my wife shivering in her Johnny. They would ask generic questions about immunization, allergy, and medical history. They would offer us various fetal screenings, and vaccinations with the persistence and tact of a fine used car salesmen and a tinge of fear mongering about the prognosis of what they ostensibly perceive as my wife’s medical condition of pregnancy.
As I already know, from my years as THC+ member, the medical INDUSTRY is ready at every turn to sell you their latest “safe and effective” testing and treatment, so matter of factly, as if reading straight out of the Pharma marketing catalogue regardless of necessity, or real world risk/benefit analysis. And damn, did I find out Pediatrics and Prenatal care is horrifyingly outdated, and unstudied; Outcomes are not a priority, only profits. Del Bigtree was a big source of inspiration as well, with his statistics about infant mortality rates across the globe etc.
Then comes the Rona, and I’m being asked to not even enter the building, and send my wife and unborn child into the maze of medical salespeople alone without my conspiratorial view point to help navigate it! I had been researching how to navigate this system since we first found out about the pregnancy, but now it began in earnest. My wife loved this BBC show I never paid attention to, titled “Call the Midwife”. From the bubble of the USSA, and the presentation of this show, Midwifery seemed just like a quaint old world approach to child birth. Upon minimal digging you find out that it’s actually the norm across the world, to have a birth naturally in your own home, because pregnancy is less a medical condition and in reality, a totally natural process where medical intervention is rarely necessary!
Information and resources on Midwives is hard to find, and insurance will tell you they are not covered or even perhaps forbidden in your state, but I managed to find a network that linked me up with a practice in my very own town, called Embrace Midwifery! (I cannot say enough good things about them. The approach they take is such a relief and a burden off of my shoulders as an expecting parent). I promptly booked our consultation meeting with them. We had our first introduction over a Skype call, where Rachel (our Midwife) explained their Natural and informed, outcome based approach, where everything I was prepared to demand and fight for in the industrial system, was the standard methodology with them. Rachel explained that nothing would be pushed upon us without our informed consent.
This is when our story gets rocky. My wife and I are so excited and relieved to have our first appointment in our own town, with this amazing group we had found! We cancel all our appointments with the industrial system. This isn’t until week 28, entering the 3rd trimester, that we got our appointment with the Midwife and our baby has been growing strong and kicking his mom everyday. As first time expecting parents, coming from the industrial system where educating the parents is an optional rarity, we had no idea to observer patterns in the baby’s movements and long periods without movement is a concern.
It’s been a day or 2 since mom had felt baby move and we are getting concerned, but our Midwife appointment is the next day and we are both anxious and excited at this point. We drive through town to Rachel’s home office and I have to cut the introductions short in order to have her asses the condition of our baby, whom we haven’t felt moving in days at this point. It’s at this point where our world turns upside down and panic sets in as Rachel searches for what felt like an eternity for the heartbeat with every tool she has. She tells us to drive to the hospital immediately and have them perform a visual ultrasound to search for a heartbeat. In a state of shock and terror, we speed to the hospital. Feeling horrified and betrayed by the universe, we are injected back into the industrial, institutional medical system in the blink of an eye. We are forced through gritted teeth to pass COVID checks 3 FUCKING Times before being able to have our ultrasound performed. All hope is lost as the second opinion of a doctor confirms our greatest fear. We spend the next 3 days there, held captive as I fight off resident students, and cold unfeeling doctors, and my wife lays drugged into a stupor in order to birth our lost child.
Well here we are about 9 months later from that terrible day, week 37 into our second pregnancy, guided and educated by such a compassionate, caring team of women. We could not possibly have done this again, without the knowledge that people like Embrace Midwifery were out there to help us through this process. We cannot wait to meet our baby for the first time, in our own living room surrounded by these incredible people!
So in closing, Greg, I want you to interview the Embrace Midwifery team, and check out their affiliated podcast, called “Babies in Common” who are wonderful educators! And possibly interview the babies in common folks as well.
thanks so much! I haven’t shared this story online anywhere yet, so i hope it’s well received.
Wow, powerful stuff man....intense. Sorry to hear about your loss, but amazing that you found a better paradigm and are back on the path. I'll definitely check them out, I have a few birth related feelers out there right now as it is, but this sounds like a great recommendation too. Much appreciated!
TheCarlwood wrote:
Wow, powerful stuff man....intense. Sorry to hear about your loss, but amazing that you found a better paradigm and are back on the path. I'll definitely check them out, I have a few birth related feelers out there right now as it is, but this sounds like a great recommendation too. Much appreciated!
Appreciate that. Use my name if necessary, in contacting them.
They certainly don’t consider anything they do conspiratorial, but are Nurses and the like who have worked within the system previously, and seen just how terrible it is. They offer services to people who just want to navigate within that system, as well as outside entirely, like in our case. They even keep what feels like an underground network of sympathetic nurses, who are still in the system, who assist families who may end up there unwillingly (like us, in my story, for example). They spy on the doctors/residents, advocate for patients, and go out of their way to help families who intended a natural birth.
They work as a team, each with their specialty and passion; such as herbal medicine, for example. I’m sure any one of them can lay out just how wrong the system is, and how to go about the whole thing differently, which I think anybody who is expecting will greatly appreciate.
Thanks again, and best regards to you and yours!
https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/askmidwife707/id1439639883
This lady is dope too. She could be a good guest and is super badass and way ahead of the squares just discovering home birth. Free birth and the reclaimed inherent power of our being for the win!
An interview with both a midwife and a doula would be great. Greg, if you line up a midwife, she might know one willing to joint her.
Since my daughter gave birth, I recommend that anyone who has it in their budget hire a doula. A doula is a professional birthing coach. While the doctors and midwifes focus on the delivery, the doula focuses on mom. I was with my daughter while she gave birth. Leading up to delivery, baby was in some distress with a slowed heartbeat. I know first hand our doula coached my daughter through and prevented a C-section.
Since I’m on the subject, I’ll pass along a tip for expectant moms. Find out/demand if they will administer Novocain to the vaginal entrance - otherwise known as the ring of fire during childbirth. I don’t think it’s a standard protocol everywhere. But when they gave it to my daughter, I was like, duh! I sure wished I would have had it. Made a world of difference for her.
etherbath wrote:
Good day,
My wife and I are expecting our first child next month, and I know Greg has been toying with the idea himself.
This is not our first birth, however, and I suppose I’ll tell my story here. We were pregnant last year just before covaids hit and not knowing that alternatives existed at all, we began seeing our “normal” in network OBGYN health care provider. Every visit, we’d have a different person performing the checkup, sitting in front of their computer with their back to us in the cold, sterile, institutionally approved white walls and harsh lighting with my wife shivering in her Johnny. They would ask generic questions about immunization, allergy, and medical history. They would offer us various fetal screenings, and vaccinations with the persistence and tact of a fine used car salesmen and a tinge of fear mongering about the prognosis of what they ostensibly perceive as my wife’s medical condition of pregnancy.
As I already know, from my years as THC+ member, the medical INDUSTRY is ready at every turn to sell you their latest “safe and effective” testing and treatment, so matter of factly, as if reading straight out of the Pharma marketing catalogue regardless of necessity, or real world risk/benefit analysis. And damn, did I find out Pediatrics and Prenatal care is horrifyingly outdated, and unstudied; Outcomes are not a priority, only profits. Del Bigtree was a big source of inspiration as well, with his statistics about infant mortality rates across the globe etc.
Then comes the Rona, and I’m being asked to not even enter the building, and send my wife and unborn child into the maze of medical salespeople alone without my conspiratorial view point to help navigate it! I had been researching how to navigate this system since we first found out about the pregnancy, but now it began in earnest. My wife loved this BBC show I never paid attention to, titled “Call the Midwife”. From the bubble of the USSA, and the presentation of this show, Midwifery seemed just like a quaint old world approach to child birth. Upon minimal digging you find out that it’s actually the norm across the world, to have a birth naturally in your own home, because pregnancy is less a medical condition and in reality, a totally natural process where medical intervention is rarely necessary!
Information and resources on Midwives is hard to find, and insurance will tell you they are not covered or even perhaps forbidden in your state, but I managed to find a network that linked me up with a practice in my very own town, called Embrace Midwifery! (I cannot say enough good things about them. The approach they take is such a relief and a burden off of my shoulders as an expecting parent). I promptly booked our consultation meeting with them. We had our first introduction over a Skype call, where Rachel (our Midwife) explained their Natural and informed, outcome based approach, where everything I was prepared to demand and fight for in the industrial system, was the standard methodology with them. Rachel explained that nothing would be pushed upon us without our informed consent.
This is when our story gets rocky. My wife and I are so excited and relieved to have our first appointment in our own town, with this amazing group we had found! We cancel all our appointments with the industrial system. This isn’t until week 28, entering the 3rd trimester, that we got our appointment with the Midwife and our baby has been growing strong and kicking his mom everyday. As first time expecting parents, coming from the industrial system where educating the parents is an optional rarity, we had no idea to observer patterns in the baby’s movements and long periods without movement is a concern.
It’s been a day or 2 since mom had felt baby move and we are getting concerned, but our Midwife appointment is the next day and we are both anxious and excited at this point. We drive through town to Rachel’s home office and I have to cut the introductions short in order to have her asses the condition of our baby, whom we haven’t felt moving in days at this point. It’s at this point where our world turns upside down and panic sets in as Rachel searches for what felt like an eternity for the heartbeat with every tool she has. She tells us to drive to the hospital immediately and have them perform a visual ultrasound to search for a heartbeat. In a state of shock and terror, we speed to the hospital. Feeling horrified and betrayed by the universe, we are injected back into the industrial, institutional medical system in the blink of an eye. We are forced through gritted teeth to pass COVID checks 3 FUCKING Times before being able to have our ultrasound performed. All hope is lost as the second opinion of a doctor confirms our greatest fear. We spend the next 3 days there, held captive as I fight off resident students, and cold unfeeling doctors, and my wife lays drugged into a stupor in order to birth our lost child.
Well here we are about 9 months later from that terrible day, week 37 into our second pregnancy, guided and educated by such a compassionate, caring team of women. We could not possibly have done this again, without the knowledge that people like Embrace Midwifery were out there to help us through this process. We cannot wait to meet our baby for the first time, in our own living room surrounded by these incredible people!
So in closing, Greg, I want you to interview the Embrace Midwifery team, and check out their affiliated podcast, called “Babies in Common” who are wonderful educators! And possibly interview the babies in common folks as well.
thanks so much! I haven’t shared this story online anywhere yet, so i hope it’s well received.
My deepest condolences for your loss and my enthusiastic congratulations on looking forward to welcoming your new baby.
Nobody should have to fight with the very people who are meant to care for us and especially not under such a heartbreaking experience. It’s nothing less than betrayal.
