Parenting book Suggestions?

I have 4 kids. Parenting books are imo a waste of time. The best parenting advice comes from old people who have done it. But that being said, new parents are way too hard on themselves. I am 99% sure you don’t need a book. Kids are resilient, if you love them and do your best you won’t fuck it up. 

My advice to new parents is to understand that your child is not a positive feedback loop. You will not be rewarded with positive feedback from your kid when you perform perfectly as a parent. Conversely, you may actually be rewarded with positive feedback when you are at your worst. Do your best, and don’t read into your child’s feedback as an indictment of your parenting ability. Don’t interpret your friend’s kid’s perfect behavior as evidence of your friend’s parenting abilities. You are a good parent and you have good kids regardless of the behavior you may have endured. 

Hi yonder,

   I recommend The Continuum Concept by Jean Liedloff and Parenting Without Power Struggles by Susan Stiffelman. For school, anything by John Holt. My wife and I have way more books than we read but these, specifically Continuum, were critical.

Cheers,

Derek-

Simplicity Parenting by Kim John Payne and Lisa Ross

Since you're on this form, you probably don't need Abigail Shrier's books, but you can read them if you need to justify things to normie friends and family. (one on the Transgender social contagion, and one on therapy for kids (aka - avoid, it's shit).

Grow Wild by Katy Bowman -- It's more about movement, and making sure we (and in this books case) kids are moving enough, and having enough physical movement/stimulation available.  She's generally awesome, and has some other books that I very much liked.

Complex PTSD by Pete Walker. Not parenting, necessarily, but doing the inner work of dealing with and recognizing your own patterns and trauma. IMO, valuable even if the description of CPTSD doesn't really apply to you. 

Inner Work by Robert Johnson.  Not parenting, but about you as the parent.  Anything by Robert Johnson is pretty awesome.  But Inner Work specifically has good Jungian approaches to dream interpretation and active imagination, and it's extremely approachable.

Most of these are available as audio books on Hoopla from the library fwiw.

I kind of agree with @dingus, and kind of disagree. As parents, we have to build up our ability to be able to know what "old people" to trust with regards to kid advice. Books are a substitute for the toxic stew of a culture what we live in where we're disconnected from our community and family networks.  I also have 4 children, the oldest is only 6 right now, so I'm in the early years.

There were also a few good episodes tangentially related on the Huberman Lab's podcast.  Martha Beck, Becky Kennedy, iirc, also have books, but the Huberman labs eps are easy to digest and give the vibe.

Gabor Mate was on Joe Rogan, and has a lot of very big and good books, but again, vibe with the interview first imo.