Action- Magical Assassination and the Two Glass Method

Fifteen years ago we move into this house, not knowing there was this leviathan root broodmother of something called "binderweed" under our front yard. Fought that bitch tooth and nail for 15 years as the Hippy New Age Warrior / Gaian Earthmother Protector. By hand. No industry chems.

My wife fought her tooth and nail. I was erratic and unreliable, at best. We live in a desert. This binderweed thing is lush and green, with these pretty pink flowers. My wife loves pink! The Universe has given you this gift and your sad devotion to this ancient religion of suburban etiquette has clouded your ability to see it for what it is! No, I'm not helping you, woman!

But she starts making some good points, after a while. Neighbors. What if it jumps the fenceline? By all accounts, nobody wants this in their yard. This is one of those invasive species that will strangle out other species because it never stops growing. And you can't get rid of it. My wife knows this better than anyone.

So it's time to design the magical hit on the broodmother under my front yard.

First, think gangster. I think I know the gnome out back - it's a long story - if I'm thinking about magically bumping off a plant, on his turf, I want his ok. So I offer him a bribe. It's a lot like a mafia situation. Palms are greased. Who's to say if the broodmother is his or mine?

When I was a muggle, I could chop down whole biospheres and never experience any noticeable backlash. Now I leave cookies and chocolate and liquor (because apparently, every one of em's a lush) under a tree. Just as insurance. You hear a lot of stories about what these little fuckers do to people.

Pay off the don. Check.

Methods.

I had just seen a bunch of people talking about the "Two Glass" method. I loved it. Label one glass with a word that represents the situation as it is now. Binderweed. Label the other glass with a word that represents the desired result. Cleanrock. Our front yard is made of rock.

Fill the first glass with some water. Feel the emotion and mindstate of the situation as it is now. Pour the water into the second glass. Pick up that second glass and feel the emotion and mindstate of the desired result. Drink the water.

My wife and I did this together and I couldn't get it up. I was too scientifically minded about a new technique and did not manage much emotion at all. My wife's got a lot of reason to hate that binderweed and she did not use it. Took her time. Did it right. She did the heavy lifting on that one.

Then our hopes and dreams don't come true. Few weeks. Few Months. I really thought that would work. It hits all the necessary requirements for magic in my model. It's a masterfully modified placebo effect. That simple ceremonial "action" that my model could benefit from- a placebo! It should work! Why isn't it working? I ain't half the magician I thought I was. Or, at least, my wife isn't.

Fuck it, man. It's coming out. Because I ain't watching her endlessly toil, on her hands and knees, in the dust and desert heat for the rest of my life. I'm done. Can't do it anymore. Get me a bottle a Glyphosate.

For fifteen years I have not spilled a drop of Glypho upon the earth. I'm gonna make this repeated and surgical. Minimize collateral impact, yet ensure every target is thoroughly dusted at regular intervals.

I don't like it, but I do still consider myself to be acting with the don's approval. We did not discuss methods.

I take one surgical pass across the target area. Binderweeds all go away and don't come back.

I have never had that kind of success with those weeds before. Even if they come back tomorrow (and that binderweed has a habit of coming back) I'll still call it a win. They've been gone for a couple months now. That ain't normal. For all of my wife's years of excruciating toil, we have never made such a lasting impact on the broodmother.

I have minimized my Glypho spillage to a small amount- once every decade or two. I have taken care of any duty to protect my neighbors. I have a happy don out back. And in this quantum world of probabilities, I have upped my chances of my wife making me deviled eggs, rather than slaving in abject futility, amidst the scorching desert rocks, while I'm trying to play a video game.

An "action" step or sequence to your magic can be extremely useful. Taking the slightest movement forward, toward the desired result, can unleash the energies you have built up during casting.

There's an old man who prays every day to win the lottery. Morning, noon and night he prays to his loving god to release him from his poverty and grant him that big lottery win. One night, as he's pondering why god has forsaken him, the voice of his creator thunders through the room. "Son... Buy A Ticket."