Abso-fucking-lutely - My pet conspiracy theory is how the English language was basically engineered as a weapon to blunt free-thinking. If you look at the Norman Invasion of England during the reign of Athelrod the Unready, followed by the installation of the French language as a virus to override the Proto-Germanic Anglo Saxon everyone was speaking for about a hundred years, and then all of a sudden English is introduced.
One of the things I find interesting is the way learning a language informs the way your brain processes information. The Germanic sentence structure for example - the way every verb outside the primary falls to the end of the sentence has to change the way you listen to someone, and therefore the way you absorb info is going to differ with the rest of the world. I've been learning Latin at a snail's pace for the last couple of years (I'm terribly slow at picking it up). I remember only truly beginning to grok it when I could wrap my head around the verbs. It's way more important to understand what's being done, rather than who's doing it.
By contrast, I believe that the way one learns English is through story. English creates visual imagery beautifully, but maybe too well (as I'm typing this I'm getting crazy anxious. It's interesting). English tempts you, literally, to sit still and see how the story plays out. Because in the English Fairy Tales, the good always live happily ever after. It's a spell-binding language, and yet at the same time it erases magic.
English doesn't allow you to have a thoughtful conversation about whether fairies are real because the fundamental concepts of fairies and reality fail to encompass both phenomenons. Borges could have only written his stories in Spanish first.
18 shades of Beige
I get what you mean about the English language being linear almost - I keep toying with writing short stories or maybe like PKD of the super weird stuff i experience - but I can't get past the umbrella concept of the story, the details just don't seem to fall into place as easily.
Nick - those beige charts could be the stuff of K-nightmares. Short story writing is really tricky. I can crank out 2 or 3 in a good year. I honestly don't know how some writers do more. They're creatively studly creatures, I guess.
So I resisted the temptation to fix anything except for some of the most egregious spelling and punctuation errors. Here are the notes from yesterday and early this morning.
8/7/18 - Tuesday, how predictable; a breakthrough. I’m using sarcasm (poorly) to mask the very real feeling of awe that I experienced today.
So, where to begin. For the record, I’m not entirely straight yet. Not by a damn sight; I got my final injection about 2 hours ago, and the world is still only behaving semi-normally; as if it would be a breach of etiquette for everything under my feet to pop.
I’m super into semi-colons right now. They’re like the Swiss Army Knives of syntax.
So, if you’re good then life is good. If you’re lucky enough to do good a hundred percent of the time, congratulations on being an Ipsissimus; the rest of us are stuck here in the trash strata. But for whatever reason, today I started meditating on what’s good here in the trash strata – and maybe that’s where years of listening to bands like Kyuss and Fu Manchu paid off. I started seeing gold.
Gold sunlight, gold refracted through junk lenses
Old timey Defender video games and T-top Trans-Ams with golden fiery Phoenix wings that spread across the sky – Hail unto thee who are Ra in thy rising, Hail Tiphareth, Hail the Christ Consciousness.
You aren’t supposed to know how this goes, but also you aren’t expected to know how to be good in every possible situation; only the situation you are actually really in at this very moment.
Let’s hear it for the semi-colon.
This is the way out, the release in here. I’m not trying to unravel the secrets of the universe. One of the many, many differences between PKD and me is that I have no use for a weltanschauung.
So, how to explain this then? Mother Earth is the trash strata sphere, informed primarily by Mother Saturn. But it’s not just those two; simply that they are the most powerful symphonies (I’ll explain this in a minute). But there are many spheres between the two Mothers, some beneficent, some maleficent, and even these are only descriptors for forces that beggar description. I know that Manly P. Hall does a decent job talking about the crystalline sphere metaphysical models that permeate much of the classical magical texts, and I cannot stress enough that I have no investment in these ideas as truth, more of an teleological lens through which one can view things when the reality goggles get yanked.
So if Earth is everywhere (which it is – under normal circumstances you can’t detect anything but the Earth sphere with your 5 senses), and through the influence of Saturn everything is beige, what if one was to focus through a different sphere? I think I did this for a moment on Sunday to horrific effect. I was thinking about how sucky this all was and then boom! Everything went Dario Argento-red, and I think that was Mars.
8/8/18 Wednesday – I almost cut some of this stuff out because it’s weird to talk about it openly. I’m going to admit some things that I don’t talk openly about, because I’ve always thought one’s metaphysics should be kept to oneself. Also, it just feels weird talking about it publicly. But, my original purpose for posting this online was to help anyone who might be interested in trying something like this. And if I can’t talk about the methods “I” used to deal with the really heavy trips, then how the fuck am I helping people?
On the flip side, I have a hard time with stating anything that sounds boastful. In a weird way, I’m sort of proud of the fact that I was able to come out on the other side of this. And 99% of the time, if I do something I’m proud of, announcing it to people either across the internet or at dinner parties seems like a terrible breach of etiquette. So here’s the dilemma.
But even that’s bullshit. Because “I” didn’t really do anything. If anybody did something yesterday, it was Dr H. He’s led who-the-fuck-knows how many people through this very same hedge-maze, and probably knew all along what he was doing with me. So, I survived this in the same way somebody survives a Class-5 river rafting expedition by hanging onto the side-rails. “I” was not doing the paddling.
But I did some stuff before the trip this time, and maybe it gamed the results some. (Here’s the openly admitting stuff). I have an ancestral altar in one of my rooms, and yesterday I made an offering to both my pantheon and my ancestral lineage. The offering was frankincense and myrrh, plus a copy of the receipt from my payment to Dr H’s office. I made a promise at my altar to try to let my heart lead the way through the parts of the trip that my head couldn’t tolerate. Then I meditated on the new hypersigil I’ve been working on for 10 minutes. This was the last thing I did before heading out to Dr H.
So the sphere of Binah/Mother Saturn sits on the left shoulder, Chesed/the Sidereal Realm/something like the Akashic Records hovers just above the right shoulder. These are the devil/angel dynamics depicted in religious woodcuttings and Tom & Jerry cartoons (the fucking best). Mother Saturn speaks to you through the Gates of the Abyss where Choronzon dwells. This is Daath and the awareness of speech programming not only your operant paradigms but the construct that you mistake for you.
To realize that you are simply a story that you are told is to realize that the story began long before your comprehension of language existed in your own temporal reality. I realize that this is a little dense, so I’ll try it a different way. You process the world through language, and somewhere in all of the language you have picked up is a single through-line; the “you-code”. You aren’t the code anymore than the story of the Giving Tree is an actual tree. But the story of you started before you became you. Therefore, your primary source code was written by something other than you. And that game of “pass the baton” has been going back since before we knew how to build campfires.
So you have to surrender that story to pass through the gate of understanding beyond where our capacity for language lies. I think this is where you have to allow your heart-center to take the reins. To do this is to view the Earth Sphere through the lens of Tiphareth. This can be done. I did this, and the only way that I can admit it is to admit that “I” wasn’t the one doing it.
This is another step on the path to individuation.
I'd agree the last bit was a way to describe the soul residing as spirit/Self in the body, and reincarnation or eternal recurrence.
More confirmation from the nether-realms of esoteric teachings
nickzeptepi wrote: I'd agree the last bit was a way to describe the soul residing as spirit/Self in the body, and reincarnation or eternal recurrence.
More confirmation form the nether-realms of esoteric teachings
You hit the nail on the head - Eternal Recurrence. Tuesday's last big dose came with this feeling of how old the human story is. It was like hearing the granddaddy of all campfire tales. I have a theory as to why Tuesday's experience was so much more positive compared with the first three, but I want to see if it wasn't just a one-off before I start spouting off at the mouth. T-minus 4 hours and counting until 5/6. Hope all is well out there.
willm308 wrote: Nick - those beige charts could be the stuff of K-nightmares. Short story writing is really tricky. I can crank out 2 or 3 in a good year. I honestly don't know how some writers do more. They're creatively studly creatures, I guess.
So I resisted the temptation to fix anything except for some of the most egregious spelling and punctuation errors. Here are the notes from yesterday and early this morning.
8/7/18 - Tuesday, how predictable; a breakthrough. I’m using sarcasm (poorly) to mask the very real feeling of awe that I experienced today.
So, where to begin. For the record, I’m not entirely straight yet. Not by a damn sight; I got my final injection about 2 hours ago, and the world is still only behaving semi-normally; as if it would be a breach of etiquette for everything under my feet to pop.
I’m super into semi-colons right now. They’re like the Swiss Army Knives of syntax.
So, if you’re good then life is good. If you’re lucky enough to do good a hundred percent of the time, congratulations on being an Ipsissimus; the rest of us are stuck here in the trash strata. But for whatever reason, today I started meditating on what’s good here in the trash strata – and maybe that’s where years of listening to bands like Kyuss and Fu Manchu paid off. I started seeing gold.
Gold sunlight, gold refracted through junk lenses
Old timey Defender video games and T-top Trans-Ams with golden fiery Phoenix wings that spread across the sky – Hail unto thee who are Ra in thy rising, Hail Tiphareth, Hail the Christ Consciousness.
You aren’t supposed to know how this goes, but also you aren’t expected to know how to be good in every possible situation; only the situation you are actually really in at this very moment.
Let’s hear it for the semi-colon.
This is the way out, the release in here. I’m not trying to unravel the secrets of the universe. One of the many, many differences between PKD and me is that I have no use for a weltanschauung.
So, how to explain this then? Mother Earth is the trash strata sphere, informed primarily by Mother Saturn. But it’s not just those two; simply that they are the most powerful symphonies (I’ll explain this in a minute). But there are many spheres between the two Mothers, some beneficent, some maleficent, and even these are only descriptors for forces that beggar description. I know that Manly P. Hall does a decent job talking about the crystalline sphere metaphysical models that permeate much of the classical magical texts, and I cannot stress enough that I have no investment in these ideas as truth, more of an teleological lens through which one can view things when the reality goggles get yanked.
So if Earth is everywhere (which it is – under normal circumstances you can’t detect anything but the Earth sphere with your 5 senses), and through the influence of Saturn everything is beige, what if one was to focus through a different sphere? I think I did this for a moment on Sunday to horrific effect. I was thinking about how sucky this all was and then boom! Everything went Dario Argento-red, and I think that was Mars.
8/8/18 Wednesday – I almost cut some of this stuff out because it’s weird to talk about it openly. I’m going to admit some things that I don’t talk openly about, because I’ve always thought one’s metaphysics should be kept to oneself. Also, it just feels weird talking about it publicly. But, my original purpose for posting this online was to help anyone who might be interested in trying something like this. And if I can’t talk about the methods “I” used to deal with the really heavy trips, then how the fuck am I helping people?
On the flip side, I have a hard time with stating anything that sounds boastful. In a weird way, I’m sort of proud of the fact that I was able to come out on the other side of this. And 99% of the time, if I do something I’m proud of, announcing it to people either across the internet or at dinner parties seems like a terrible breach of etiquette. So here’s the dilemma.
But even that’s bullshit. Because “I” didn’t really do anything. If anybody did something yesterday, it was Dr H. He’s led who-the-fuck-knows how many people through this very same hedge-maze, and probably knew all along what he was doing with me. So, I survived this in the same way somebody survives a Class-5 river rafting expedition by hanging onto the side-rails. “I” was not doing the paddling.
But I did some stuff before the trip this time, and maybe it gamed the results some. (Here’s the openly admitting stuff). I have an ancestral altar in one of my rooms, and yesterday I made an offering to both my pantheon and my ancestral lineage. The offering was frankincense and myrrh, plus a copy of the receipt from my payment to Dr H’s office. I made a promise at my altar to try to let my heart lead the way through the parts of the trip that my head couldn’t tolerate. Then I meditated on the new hypersigil I’ve been working on for 10 minutes. This was the last thing I did before heading out to Dr H.
So the sphere of Binah/Mother Saturn sits on the left shoulder, Chesed/the Sidereal Realm/something like the Akashic Records hovers just above the right shoulder. These are the devil/angel dynamics depicted in religious woodcuttings and Tom & Jerry cartoons (the fucking best). Mother Saturn speaks to you through the Gates of the Abyss where Choronzon dwells. This is Daath and the awareness of speech programming not only your operant paradigms but the construct that you mistake for you.
To realize that you are simply a story that you are told is to realize that the story began long before your comprehension of language existed in your own temporal reality. I realize that this is a little dense, so I’ll try it a different way. You process the world through language, and somewhere in all of the language you have picked up is a single through-line; the “you-code”. You aren’t the code anymore than the story of the Giving Tree is an actual tree. But the story of you started before you became you. Therefore, your primary source code was written by something other than you. And that game of “pass the baton” has been going back since before we knew how to build campfires.
So you have to surrender that story to pass through the gate of understanding beyond where our capacity for language lies. I think this is where you have to allow your heart-center to take the reins. To do this is to view the Earth Sphere through the lens of Tiphareth. This can be done. I did this, and the only way that I can admit it is to admit that “I” wasn’t the one doing it.
This is another step on the path to individuation.
Its Mars retrograde at the moment ::--
Transiting Mars retrograde is a time for thinking before acting. Fated events and repeating themes will reinforce which of your strong desires need more background work before being acted upon.
Mars retrograde means that whatever area of sexuality or decisive action you have developed, is so important that extra time is needed to take stock and make sure everything in order before you continue. Fated events may occur that could be painful but are needed so you back off and don’t make a major mistake.
It is also possible that you have struggled with naughty Mars behaviors like anger, rage, violence or sexual abuse. If so, the retrograde phase will bring fated events that force you to admit you have some anger management issues. This too, could be a very painful experience for you.
By the time Mars stations direct, you should have come to terms with the relevant issues. This contemplative stage is over and you are ready to come out of your shell and confidently assert yourself and act on your desires.
The bit about realizing you are a story from times past is more support for eternal recurrence of the immortal soul and you is the soul manifesting as spirit in matter - well that's how I took it a. the you code is just alignment with that Self/spirit with your body and mind.
I am sure this current system is a archontic playground where they have set up a system to traumtize you at and from birth, school you to remove and condition the rest and fill you with toxins with fast "food" etc etc
so that the Self/spirit is fragmented or absent in the body and this leaves a space for the archon (or hungry ghosts - from tibet Buddhism )to reside in and through your body so "they" can continue to enjoy the material things on this planet.
Mid life crisis is most likely your actual self/spirit soul one last struggle to incarnate over what ever is occupying the space it should be in.
and surrendering to the story is akin to the Self individuation of Jung.
well this is how it resonates with me. - Probably because that my main focus right now.
Viewing through the lens of Mars or Tiphareth, I might have experience something similar the energy from that sphere become dominant for a time to give perspective - perhaps only those whose previous soul journey had got to the right point would allow that to happen in this time around.
I hope the sigil etc can help you access this enlightening inner work of yours after the treatment has finished.
On eternal recurrence you should read this book
https://www.amazon.com/Daemon-Guide-Your-Extraordinary-Secret/dp/1848377215/ref=la_B002XCRIX0_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1529983221&sr=1-1
here a DRM free epub for you
https://mega.nz/#!hVJSEA7J!ufRl66533GtvTXtdh1y894bIzHdoLRcfLVMSMAKIQF8
nickzeptepi wrote: Its Mars retrograde at the moment ::--
Transiting Mars retrograde is a time for thinking before acting. Fated events and repeating themes will reinforce which of your strong desires need more background work before being acted upon.Mars retrograde means that whatever area of sexuality or decisive action you have developed, is so important that extra time is needed to take stock and make sure everything in order before you continue. Fated events may occur that could be painful but are needed so you back off and don’t make a major mistake.
It is also possible that you have struggled with naughty Mars behaviors like anger, rage, violence or sexual abuse. If so, the retrograde phase will bring fated events that force you to admit you have some anger management issues. This too, could be a very painful experience for you.
By the time Mars stations direct, you should have come to terms with the relevant issues. This contemplative stage is over and you are ready to come out of your shell and confidently assert yourself and act on your desires.
The bit about realizing you are a story from times past is more support for eternal recurrence of the immortal soul and you is the soul manifesting as spirit in matter - well that's how I took it a. the you code is just alignment with that Self/spirit with your body and mind.
I am sure this current system is a archontic playground where they have set up a system to traumtize you at and from birth, school you to remove and condition the rest and fill you with toxins with fast "food" etc etc
so that the Self/spirit is fragmented or absent in the body and this leaves a space for the archon (or hungry ghosts - from tibet Buddhism )to reside in and through your body so "they" can continue to enjoy the material things on this planet.
Mid life crisis is most likely your actual self/spirit soul one last struggle to incarnate over what ever is occupying the space it should be in.and surrendering to the story is akin to the Self individuation of Jung.
well this is how it resonates with me. - Probably because that my main focus right now.
Viewing through the lens of Mars or Tiphareth, I might have experience something similar the energy from that sphere become dominant for a time to give perspective - perhaps only those whose previous soul journey had got to the right point would allow that to happen in this time around.
I hope the sigil etc can help you access this enlightening inner work of yours after the treatment has finished.
On eternal recurrence you should read this book
https://www.amazon.com/Daemon-Guide-Your-Extraordinary-Secret/dp/1848377215/ref=la_B002XCRIX0_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1529983221&sr=1-1here a DRM free epub for you
https://mega.nz/#!hVJSEA7J!ufRl66533GtvTXtdh1y894bIzHdoLRcfLVMSMAKIQF8
Thanks Nick, as usual you've got the goods. GXG I have difficulty sitting still and usually ride this giant bean-bag Dr H has set up by a window. I might try a blindfold someday but there's something about this pic that looks way more eerie than the set-up here. Those hospital walls could give me the screaming-meemies ,methinks.
8/9/18 – 8/10/18
I needed a break after yesterday’s session. I have a bunch of hand-scribbled notes but I don’t really need it at the moment. I have enough to say without invoking any more extra-dimensional intelligences, archetypal subconscious god forms, or AI code-lines. At least, I don’t need them at this exact moment.
A bit of truth – I am a total fucking lightweight when it comes to ketamine. I have watched girls half my size take doses 3 times my heaviest dose and just kick back, and giggle. Meanwhile, on my last dose yesterday (all of which were lighter than Tuesday’s session) Dr H actually scaled back from what we were originally going to do. I always listen to him. I’ve watched people argue for bigger doses, extra doses… I honestly don’t get it. Usually about halfway through my 2nd go-around that day (I usually do 3 per session but it varies) all I’m thinking about is how I can’t wait to get the fuck out of there.
One of the primary creep-factors is the “We Have Always Lived in the Castle” feeling that I usually get with the comedown. It only just occurred to me today that one of the things my brain might be attempting is the 4th Way exercise known as “self-remembering”. I want to be clear that I’m only guessing this. I’ve been studying Gurdjieff and Ouspensky (mostly Ouspensky so far) off and on since the 2015-16 holiday season, and only in books. I’ve never met a real 4th way scholar in person. So, maybe I’m totally wrong. Also I’ve never consciously attempted to self-remember while in there (I’m usually just dancing and trying not to hyperventilate). It’s just that based on the accounts I’ve read from Orage, Popoff, et al., what I’m going through feels like their description of self-remembering.
Anyway, I often get stuck on this idea that I am so mentally ill that it required me to find another human being to shoot me full of concentrated crazy-juice after which I writhe around on the floor for a bit and then attempt to rejoin the rest of the talking monkeys. It’s all so utterly insane.
Sometimes I have difficulty dealing with this aspect of myself.
More on Mother Binah/Saturn, and samskaras – I’ll start with the samskaras. This is an idea out of Eastern philosophy that ties into certain Hatha yoga practices. According to some traditions we build up this sort of karmic scar tissue, either through reincarnation, or eternal recurrence; again we’re hitting language walls. These manifestations can exist both in the mind and in analogous pain-points within the body, and through certain practices it is believed not only to heal the mind but the body as well. Furthermore, there’s a sort of Bell’s Theorem (I can’t think of the actual physics term for this right now) principle at work in that if you heal one, the analogue usually is healed, too.
I think it was last Sunday that I wrote down “You aren’t supposed to know how this goes”. Maybe…
Fuck, okay – let me try it from another angle. There’s a process with every child – for a while in America “Ferberism” (sp?) was all the rage – in which contact with the biological birth mother goes from constant to a near constant thing, to a fraction of the day, and then the time keeps growing smaller the further the child goes out into the world. Sometimes the child is punished for not understanding this, and after a while this punishment becomes part of the normal you-code. So, in place of the biological mother being the constant, this secondary tension; a push-pull between the desire to cry out and a fear of reprisal becomes the new constant – the new mother, if you will. As the child gets better at not crying out, the punishments grow fewer in number. Whatever muscular tension that comes with the child’s effort to not cry out becomes a constant as well. For the child to make sense of this, he/she must literally square the idea that constant misery – no matter how mild this might be – is the new normal. In other words, we have to drive ourselves somewhat crazy just to survive. The Saturnine muscular tension is that which saves us, over and over. It saves us from excess punishment during the infant Ferberisation. It becomes the impulse to not reach into holes, not stick forks into electrical sockets, not run with scissors. It is both what saves us from the danger and the danger itself, for our recognition of danger is the only thing that… You get the idea.
So, maybe depression is simply the original MB/S samskara turned up way too high. Maybe out of all the higher forms that dominate our actions – be they the Martian impulse to lash out, the Lunar daydreaming, Venusian sexual compulsion – if you’ve got your Saturn dial turned up to high it creates this constant low-grade muscular tension which then sets of a cascade of fuckery throughout your endocrine system.
More about the gate, and what it does. Concurrently, I’m thinking about something Ouspensky wrote about the tarot trumps and how they pair off with each other (or in his words, how I would have understood him to have written abo…). To further his (rather, my understanding of his) position, this metaphysical/archetypal gate could be the flashpoint where they meet – in this metaphor I guess the flashpoint is the “burning now” that one only experiences when the idea of self is dissolved – and how in some cases this can induce specific forms of madness. In particular, I’m thinking of the pairing between the 7th and 16th trumps; these being the Chariot and the Tower.
With respect to religion, these two provide glimpses of the lead-up to and fall-out from a damaging experience of kratophany. In this case, the chariot represents an attempt to experience the numinous, but conflates an attitude of proper reverence with self-righteous piety. At the omega-point of kratophany, the chariot meets with the Godhead, and the Tower is the fall-out. You can see physical evidence of this phenomenon by checking out some of the odder-looking fundamentalist churches within the US “Bible Belt”. I don’t doubt that any of the more freakish snake handlers and faith healers have had genuine spiritual encounters. But not having prepared for it, the fallout makes them even more armored, fearful and xenophobic.
To someone who has encountered “other” with a nothing but a head full of Old Testament fire & brimstone and some American exceptionalism to fall back on, xenophobia might seem like a valid reaction. This is the poison of Yaldaboath at work; a sentient mind-virus spawning 3 new 700 Clubs every time a Pat Robertson passes away.
The flip side to this madness is the form of hardcore Satanism described by theorists like Maury Terry and Linda Blood. Animal and human sacrifice erase the primary you-code, but instead of Yaldaboath, something even more immediately dangerous can slip in.
May I take a moment here
to note the strength & vulnerability it must take to, not only experience it 1st hand, but to then try to translate it all into anything even remotely understandable. You are doing an incredible job.
Bravo,Sir!
* still enthralled by this thread
I've done a lot of research on the mother baby bond & trauma etc, there's some psychology books on it.
Here's my summary
https://healingthehero.wordpress.com/2017/10/24/life-with-a-diabolical-caretaker-jailer/
I can't get to my laptop right now but I recall the wake up call needed to get you out of a trauma hole your in head to be equivalent to the trauma that out you in it.
Babies loosing that mother connection also looses it's connection to it's soul, the Godhead, the universe & life.
Their sense of belonging to this world is ruptured at a time when they had no language so cannot speak about it later, it had to be processed through dreams & symbols etc.
And your right the super-ego creates a self image and a unconscious set of sympathetic muscled can constrict from that trauma in way that's hard to detect or feel, as it's becomes the norm. And it takes a lot to first sense that entire body spasm and a bit more to process what's needed to let it go.
I'll post more later when I'm off this long bus ride.
genxgemini wrote:
May I take a moment here
to note the strength & vulnerability it must take to, not only experience it 1st hand, but to then try to translate it all into anything even remotely understandable. You are doing an incredible job.
Bravo,Sir!
* still enthralled by this thread
Thanks GXG, you're too kind. Tbh, I think writing it out and talking with you guys and some family and friends about it is doing as much if not more than the actual shots.
nickzeptepi wrote: I've done a lot of research on the mother baby bond & trauma etc, there's some psychology books on it.
Here's my summaryhttps://healingthehero.wordpress.com/2017/10/24/life-with-a-diabolical-caretaker-jailer/
I can't get to my laptop right now but I recall the wake up call needed to get you out of a trauma hole your in head to be equivalent to the trauma that out you in it.
Babies loosing that mother connection also looses it's connection to it's soul, the Godhead, the universe & life.
Their sense of belonging to this world is ruptured at a time when they had no language so cannot speak about it later, it had to be processed through dreams & symbols etc.
And your right the super-ego creates a self image and a unconscious set of sympathetic muscled can constrict from that trauma in way that's hard to detect or feel, as it's becomes the norm. And it takes a lot to first sense that entire body spasm and a bit more to process what's needed to let it go.
I'll post more later when I'm off this long bus ride.
I look forward to hearing from you, Nick. Happy and safe travels. Also, it's crazy that you posted something about this Healing the Hero site, as I've seen it a couple of times randomly this week and I haven't spent a lot of time checking out new stuff. So maybe it's sync- sure, why not? What I've read so far resonates powerfully. Repelarchon has a good writing style.
