I try to think of emotions as a "Steed" or as a "Fuel." When tamed and properly harnessed, they can get you to where you want to go a lot easier. They can turn work into play. And they can give joy to yourself and anyone around you. When untamed, they possess additional features. They can halt all forward progress. They can turn play into work and work into torture. And they can scar and offend all those present.
I believe the "Emotions as Steed" perspective is a useful one. If you wanna tame an animal, the first thing you gotta do is figure out what it eats. The taming process begins when you start feeding it when it acts in a fashion you desire- and NEVER feed it when it acts inappropriately. This is intuitive, and still incredibly hard to do with emotions.
Why? Because we've never been taught to. You grew up in a society that repeatedly reinforced the notion that your emotions were outside of your control. It is embedded in the way we speak. You made me angry. You hurt my feelings. It really worried me. Until one can start thinking in terms of "I allowed myself to get angry," "Why did I take that so hard," and "I worry too much," a person can't begin to take control of their steed.
To begin to take control, you must be able to recognize when you are feeding an unwanted behavior. That's the trick. You see -the fucked thing is- you're taming this horse from on top of it. You already jumped on and you've been slappin' his ass and riding him into battle for a long time now. With HIM driving. Some of us more than others, but we've all done it. It's long past due we teach that animal who's boss, because the innocent bystanders get needlessly trampled. Time to start teaching your mount some tactical maneuvers.
HALT- would be my first suggested maneuver. Get it to where you can stop it dead within a few good trots. We'll save "stop on a dime" for the Buddha, and use "within a few good trots" as our measuring stick for now. If your emotions can give up the chase, "within a few good trots," and turn and head in a different direction of your choosing- you have mastered HALT.
Won't be easy. You've been riding that horse every day of your life. You do it without thinking about it. You hafta start thinking about it. And when you're in the middle of the fray, you hafta realize it and say HALT. Not easy to do. But with some practice, it can be achieved.
(The archon perspective is particularly useful for me. If I can realize that I am galloping down a path that I don't want to be, I can don the archon perspective and my horse will usually agree with me. It makes it a lot easier for me to execute the HALT command and also provides the desire to charge off in a more productive direction. The direction of Love and Harmony- because it'll make that punk archon either see the light, or throw up and die. I care not which.)
Determine which thoughts feed and encourage the emotions that lead to hurting yourself and the innocent bystanders around you- anger, anxiety, depression. And then you have to catch yourself in the act of feeding them. You have to be able to realize that you're tear-assing down a path before you can even practice the HALT command.
Find your triggers. What are the internal thoughts and external input that "cause" these uncontrolled emotional states. Once you identify the trigger, you can begin work on uninstalling it.
But first, the hardest part will be realizing when you've already triggered. You've set that steed in motion and are kicking its belly to haul more ass. THIS IS THE HARDEST PART. Get good at realizing when it's happening. Then you can practice HALT. You're the boss. Not the animal. Because that animal loves to run.
That animal will try to bully you into that run. Like an old friend that knows you too well and doesn't wanna stop. It'll say things to you like "You aren't honoring yourself here," or "You aren't honoring the GRAVITY of the situation here." The fucker knows you too well, and he'll hit you in all the right places. That horse will be straight up underhanded.
But if you can remain in the head space of the stoic, rational trainer, he eventually starts getting the point. And it gets easier. And you teach him a couple more tricks. If you're consistent and don't give up the fight, then your metaphysical horse (BECAUSE EMOTION IS METAPHYSICAL ROCKET FUEL) becomes a well-trained Pegasus that enables you to soar toward your desired destination. Or so the theory goes.
All I know is, I've got much better control of my horse now. I can come closer to "Stop on a dime" than "within a few good trots," on my better days. And it's so worth it.
Look like more of the hero now- because the innocent men, women, and children aren't getting hurt. Not randomly poisoning myself and others with cortisols and a myriad of other growth dampeners. And happier in general.
The big secret here is that emotions are rocket fuel, both physically and metaphysically. Wanna see granny lift 2 tons of automotive steel long enough for neighbors to pull her grandson out from underneath? You gotta hit up Emotion for that. Love, baby! Adrenaline doesn't have the capability to suspend the laws of physics regarding the critical failure weight of granny's tendons and joints. Love does.
Every day of your life you are enhancing or degrading yourself, and the people around you, based on the kind of fuel you run.
You are far more powerful than they will ever tell you.
